Friends or foes?

Often times we meet another bboy and we get along very well and think they're our new friends. But often times they are not, regardless of how many times you hangout they are just someone you spend time with. So i've broken down the level of "friendships". After you read this, ask yourself "are they really my friends?" and "which friend am i to my friends?"

acquaintance

a person known to one, but usually not a close friend

These are the friends that you see once in awhile, you may say hello to them and have a quick conversation with them but you have nothing to offer them/they have nothing to offer you in terms of actual friendship, you don't expect anything from them and vice versa. It's almost a perfect relationship, alot of times they are close enough to know a little bit about you but not enough to be of any importance.

 

associate 

to keep company, as a friend, companion, or ally

 These people are the next level up, they have broken the mold of someone who offers you nothing, they know more about you then someone you just met and generally have a grasp of some understanding about you. You will start to involve these people in natural activities and they may start to involve you in there's. If you find out they had a birthday party and you weren't invited it's not something to be worked up over. This is a phase where there may be some smack talking about the other person until you can grasp them good enough to call them a friend.

friend

a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

After spending time with someone long enough they are considered your friend. There is emotional reliance on one another when the need be, you hangout (how often is determined by a variety of things as distance and how good of friends you are) the sooner in the relationship of a friend you don't have out as often as you do when the relationship has reached a more mature level.Much like your girlfriend/boyfriend relationship you introduce them to your friends and vice versa to have more mutual friends and grow your network of friends. At this point in the relationship negative aspects should be numbed down if they are there. Borrowing things from each other,traveling together, partying together is more than acceptable at this point. Sometimes it also involves doing favors for each other, but it's okay because that's your friend. If someone is talking negatively about your friend, you should stop them. Everyone has different thoughts and differences which makes a friendship strong- the differences you can share between each other yet still make a strong relationship because you respect each others differences. When you've reached this point you have no where to go but up.

family

any group of persons closely related by blood, as parents, children, uncles, aunts, and cousins

Here it becomes a little different, because i don't mean a real life family, i mean those friends that are closer then a majority of your friends. That you let into your house when you aren't there, that you can depend on to watch your house, take care of your animals, or that you would call in a tight pinch or emergency. I often refer to these people as my crew mates or my best friends. These are people that should have your back in any situation be it right or wrong. And afterwords bitch at you for fucking up. That's okay because your crew/family. You have an understanding that you can screw up and be forgiven. There isn't a whole lot you guys wouldn't do together. The relationship at this point can't get any stronger unless someone were to try to kill one of you. At this point in a relationship there is such a strong bond that nobody can talk negatively about them, if someone does- then you attempt to make people understand your friend better and defend them (again regardless of them being right or wrong). You become an unofficial delegate fighting for your countries beliefs. These are also the type of people you would leave alone with your boyfriend girlfriend wife husband on drunk nights and know there isn't going to be any issues because your crew will protect your family. It's like the godfather, you don't mess with the family at all or the family will take care of you. These people could also go weeks or months without talking to you and it's okay because when you talk to them it's like you never missed a day with them.

 

 

 

Recently i have gotten into some issues with the breaking community about my beliefs. I have an issue expressing myself correctly on the internet apparently and this is something i have to work on and i'm okay with that. But through the situation i have found out where alot of my "crew" and "friends" stand on support. I am okay with this because this was my issue, but i am not okay with the situation of people i associated with bad mouthing me to a point where if it was in person i would have hurt them in a very physical way. Then my "friends" decide they are going to jump on the bandwagon with them and say things like "it's not my problem." to me its funny when someone says i have your back but when it comes time to have it, nothing. I am the type of person who if i got a phone call at 4 in the morning with an emergency 12 hours away, i'd get up and make it happen and am often a much better friend to people then they are to me. It's just how things are. But from now on if you don't offer anything to the relationship of our friendship then we aren't really friends we are associates that talk and hangout when it's convenient and doesn't cause issues for your personal life. I don't care if we grew up together or met later on in life. This is your life, not a video game, there aren't multiple lives. So make the best of the one you have and if people are wasting your time and being bad friends, don't put up with that shit because at the end of the day, they're going to mess with your happiness and center of your life. At the same token, if you are going to not be involved as a friend, make your relationship out to what you plan it to be . Forgiveness is always an option but, 

Forgiving is rediscovering the shining path of peace that at first you thought others took away when they betrayed you.  ~Dodinsky

may not always be found 

support your scene campaign

everybody has a "support your scene" mentality when they are setting up an event or doing anything when they are trying to rally support for themselves. In my scene i think it's hillarious when people attempt to lecture me on the support your scene mentality (from here on out will be "sys")

Now here's why i think this is funny. Almost no body upstate has a true support the scene mentality. They only want to support those that support them, which is fine, but that goes against the whole support everybody thing. You should attempt to give your support first and hope that people support you back. A scene CANNOT EXIST without the local community.

Now here's a little history about my events.

I started breaking with the Binghamton university break dancing crew (at the time called) "Nervous Breakdown". They used to host an event called Battle in The Boonies hosted by Abe Heisler who also started the nervous breakdown crew. (Sometime around 2000-2001). It stopped being hosted around 06 a few years before i even knew about breaking. 
~2008~ i enter the scene and am practicing from time to time, i was working a full time landscaping job making 10 an hour, so at 18 i was ballin for money. the NBC wanted to host an event but didnt have the funds, i wasn't really into the breaking as much but i decided to host the event with the support and promotion of the club.


Battle in the boonies returned for another 12 or so events from 2008 when i started hosting again to 2011 with us looking to host a BIG event sometime in 2012 (i wanted it to be in the spring but it looks like it's going to be in the fall) reason being is that the middle man between me and the company "girl a" was attempting to embezzle money and make it look like i did it. So we canceled the promotion for the event and are attempting to do this our own way.


After throwing my first event i got hit up by David Bryant an Allentown, PA local who was working for a company that wanted to venture out into something different for their events. David and his breather Xavier break a little bit (i don't know how much anymore) but primarily David was a runner. So long story short they contracted me to setup the event with a list of dj's and judges that i thought would be good for the gig. They then asked me to come down and help run the event to make sure everything ran smoothly. This later became the event known as Mayfair Breakdancing Challenge. I would help setup and be a silent co-host for another 2 years until David stopped working for that particular company and handed control of the event over to his brother Xavier. Who apparently had so little to do with the actual event that he didn't even know who i was.




After silently co-hosting with david, i decided to throw another few events for Battle in the boonies. I was contacted by a local bboy named Ian Turner who wanted to host an event. I didn't even know there was bboys in ithaca until the day i got the facebook/myspace message (i cant remember which). Again my whole thing is giving people the tools to do the event. This came to be known as Break IC, which later turned control over to Kyle Fenton, and now Ninjong Lu. This was in 09 i believe. And am working with them to this day at every event they have hosted since. The only one i didn't have a major hand in was the most recent one where Dj Kaos was on the 1+2's, I judged along side with Outbreak (binghamton) and a syracuse bboy (whos name escapes me atm, but ill come back and edit it)

  
When World Of Dance came to NYC, i was the lead promoter for upstate ny. I was offered a spot for an expo battle as well as free entry into the event and a place to crash with some of the other promoters for the event. Having looked back on it, i wish i had done it, but at the time no one knew anything about WOD in ny so i didn't really trust the whole thing.



Picking up steam i was contacted by a few promoters in philly who wanted me to co-host/judge an event. I didn't want to judge because after the battle in the boonies fiasco (i wasn't good enough to judge, and because of a man holding the DMV at gunpoint and killing a ton of people across the street from the bus station,2/3 judges couldn't make it. so i had to judge and just wasn't qualified) and i didnt want it to look bad on that event. The host of this jam is Jed Lin, the jam Break the Limits. I helped him compile a list of dj's and judges, ultimately he went his own way with the event but that's the bonus of being the host, you do what you want.It turned out to be a solid event. Since BTL has started they have thrown a total of 6 events in the last 2 years i believe. this jam started in 2010


The co-founder of the original rocksteady crew JoJo had me setup his events in elmira, ny. He has started a crew called Orignal Skillz and thus named his events that. 2 years later he's still hosting the event on his own for the most part, he'll ask me about judges from time to time.

Kathryn Sundiang Hosts Technical Grounds, when Rit was first setting up the event, they contacted me for suggestions and asked me to come help make sure everything ran smoothly and to this day ask me for input and people to judge/dj and what i think.


Buffalo Breakdown hosted by Ryan Nash contacted me for suggestions about hosting his event, who to judge/dj. He ultimately only wanted information on the actual running of the event which is dope. Not everyone shares the same idea's on judges/djs.


Lovers Rock hosted by Ill-literate/emergy of Sessions 31 when hosting this event asked me for ideas on judges as well as different idea's on running the event and then invited me down with free entry to the event to come check it out. I didn't have an overwhelming amount of input into this event but i have helped promote it and have had a part in the decision making process



I have set up bboy tactics with the host phat lam from the ground up and am apart of almost every major decision made concerning the event. I could go into details but some of them are more on personal issues then they actually have to do with the event. The main decision made is to not host it on the same day as buffalo so there isn't competition between the two.



Battle in the boonies
mayfair
break ic
original skillz
break the limits
lovers rock
BBoy Tactics


are the events i've helped get off the ground


That's not even talking about the local events that i only support and don't have a hand setting up. When i first started doing events i wasn't doing everything right, and honestly no one besides battle at buffalo upstate was. There was an event host (who will remain nameless for the time being) who was constantly doing things wrong. We got into a huge beef and basically shut down any of his events, and he shut down any of mine. Forcing people to only have one option (battle at buffalo). This feud did wonders for them and really helped them make the local scene like syracuse,rochester,ithaca, go to an event further away, that way they didnt step on anyones toes because everyone has some sort of allegiance to them.


when the actual beef settled, we called a truce and decided it's best for the scene to not have an issue like this where they can only choose one event. So i started promoting his events for him and helping him with the events. he would call me to see my personal views on events, have me help him choose dates for events, judges. and work with him. Since this happened, his events have tripled in attendance and people enjoy his events now


Now in more recent times i have had a beef with buffalo's host because i feel he's not doing things right. he's doing things on a business base which is fine but selling stuff otherwise. I dont buy into voodoo, and i don't buy into what people sell either until i see some actual action from it. I dont support how he does things, but i still support his events because i think its good for people to go to. 


Zero Gravity
Battle at Buffalo




So when you come to me about supporting my scene... i'm writing the book right now. Do i always do things right? No def not. But you always know where i stand, and if i make a mistake i own up to it. So next time you come talk to me about support my scene, you should know how much effort i put into events that i'll never get credit for aside from this little blog that maybe 10 people will read